No Country For Old Men - 3 Tubs

This movie will no doubt be nominated for an Oscar this year. It hasn't had a lot of competition, and IMHO doesn't deserve to have to share the spotlight with the depressingly dark Sweeney Todd or the sarcastic (unlike myself) spoof on teen pregnancy, Juno or that other film about promiscious sex - Knocked Up. No Country is violent - not in the sick way Sin City was violent, but in a way that says that evil is always present, and you can't escape evil. Even in a dark theater auditorium where mindless slugs aim fists at mouth and scatter popcorn and Raisinettes and Sour Patch gummy candies in random patterns, with no thought to innocent ushers who wander into the crime scene with aching feet and red palms from tiny red-painted brooms made in China.

Perhaps it's the way that evil touches everyone that the audience is compelled to break all of the 10 Commandments of Theater Attendance. Many disgruntled movie-goers leave the theater scratching their heads and wondering what the last two minutes of the movie was about. They forget their trash, their cell phones, car keys, umbrellas, and one person forgot their socks. Don't know why someone would take off their shoes and socks in the theater - it's not like we mop the floor, except to spread the sticky spilled sodas. So you see, even ushers are prone to acts of thoughtlessness or concern over the safety for the next audience we know is coming just to make our jobs that much harder.

Mark my words, some day an usher is going to lose it. He's going to become another Anton Chigurh (the man with the deadly air compressor and never quit attitude). This usher is going to track messy patrons to their cars, their homes and their hotel rooms to exact evil justice for breaking the rules of theater attendance. He will fear no authority, not even that of the General Manager. He will come after your parents for failing to teach you to clean up after yourself. You won't be able to elude him because he will track you from the dirty auditorium to your dirty car to your filthy house and your messy desk at work. When he finds you, don't expect mercy. Your only chance lies in the flip of a coin. You can try to be positive and choose 'heads' but don't be surprised if he keeps flipping til it comes up 'tails'.

There's no one to blame but yourself. You chose the theater, the movie, the seat under which you left your trash. The carnage that results from your lack of respect for this paragon of justice lies on your head. Me? - I'm like Tommy Lee Jones - I'm just an observer in this drama, remembering back to the old days when there was only one size popcorn and one size of soda, and hearing from my dad how, during the Great Depression, there wasn't money for junk food and all an usher had to do was to find patrons a seat in the theater so they could escape from reality for a couple of hours.

"The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun."—Ecclesisastes 1:6-9