Walk Hard is one of the funniest movies I've seen recently - and it's relatively clean! Except for that scene in the middle of the movie...you know the one I'm talking about. Every parent should take their teenage daughter to see this movie, as I did. Hopefully they will have the same reaction to the flacid penis on the big screen that my daughter did. She turned her face and covered her eyes and exclaimed, "Gross! I don't ever want to see another one of those for the rest of my life!" Yes! as a dad, I'm estatic that my teenage daughter no longer has any interest in the male anatomy. Perhaps if more fathers were as responsible as I am, there would be fewer teen pregnancies.
Personally, I don't need to see another flacid penis the rest of my life either, unless it's mine.
Perhaps it's that one scene that causes movie goers to lose their appetites and thus there's less of a mess when it's time to clean up after the show. Or it could be that it's so funny that people forget to eat their popcorn. Either way, Walk Hard is a winner!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Alvin and the Chipmunks - 5 Tubs
This movie justifies the use of birth control during sexual intercourse. I didn't like these stupid chipmunks forty years ago, and they haven't aged or gotten better with time. Yet it's not only kids who are coming to see this movie. Adults show up for the midnight showing! (The only reason management offers a midnight showing of a kids movie is because they hope you don't show up and they can get home before 3 AM.)
Back to the birth control. The Greatest Generation (according to Tom Brokow) has failed our country immensely. They have raised a generation of adults who never learned how to clean up after themselves. As a result, the current generation is unable to teach their kids and grandkids how to not spill popcorn and sodas while they enjoy this stupid movie.
When we (ushers) enter the auditorium after the last credit-watching slug has exited the theater, it looks like there was a food fight everywhere! There's popcorn soaked in Hawaiian Punch in every aisle. Seat cushions are brown from where someone sat on Chocolate Covered Raisins and they melted between the patron's legs. There's more salt on the seats and more butter on the floor than on the popcorn.
Sure, those over-priced kid's packs are neat, but they are very poorly designed. The liner is only an inch deep and about six inches long - holding about a penny's worth of popcorn which invariably spills because the concessionaires overfill the tray due to guilt over what the theater charges for the kid's pack. Meanwhile, the parents buy the biggest tub, which they'll place in an empty seat while they help their offspring into the booster seats the theater provides the brats. As soon as the seat folds back up, the tub turns over and all that popcorn ends up on the floor - except for the top part that some kids will scoop up in the middle of the movie because they're bored.
Alvin and the Chipmunks earns the worst rating - 5 tubs. The only movies recently that exceeded the filth of this movie have been those by and for the black audience like "This Christmas". Hey, I'm not prejudiced (although I'm finding good cause as far as movie goers is concerned), that's just a fact according to my own personal experience in the theater business in this part of the country. According to friends at other theaters, they experience the same high degree of trash in this gendre of movies as I do here, so there is supporting evidence that certain ethnic groups are less inclined to take responsibility than others. Don't be a hater.
Back to the birth control. The Greatest Generation (according to Tom Brokow) has failed our country immensely. They have raised a generation of adults who never learned how to clean up after themselves. As a result, the current generation is unable to teach their kids and grandkids how to not spill popcorn and sodas while they enjoy this stupid movie.
When we (ushers) enter the auditorium after the last credit-watching slug has exited the theater, it looks like there was a food fight everywhere! There's popcorn soaked in Hawaiian Punch in every aisle. Seat cushions are brown from where someone sat on Chocolate Covered Raisins and they melted between the patron's legs. There's more salt on the seats and more butter on the floor than on the popcorn.
Sure, those over-priced kid's packs are neat, but they are very poorly designed. The liner is only an inch deep and about six inches long - holding about a penny's worth of popcorn which invariably spills because the concessionaires overfill the tray due to guilt over what the theater charges for the kid's pack. Meanwhile, the parents buy the biggest tub, which they'll place in an empty seat while they help their offspring into the booster seats the theater provides the brats. As soon as the seat folds back up, the tub turns over and all that popcorn ends up on the floor - except for the top part that some kids will scoop up in the middle of the movie because they're bored.
Alvin and the Chipmunks earns the worst rating - 5 tubs. The only movies recently that exceeded the filth of this movie have been those by and for the black audience like "This Christmas". Hey, I'm not prejudiced (although I'm finding good cause as far as movie goers is concerned), that's just a fact according to my own personal experience in the theater business in this part of the country. According to friends at other theaters, they experience the same high degree of trash in this gendre of movies as I do here, so there is supporting evidence that certain ethnic groups are less inclined to take responsibility than others. Don't be a hater.
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