I don't know how Harrison Ford does it. He's certainly looking his age in the movie; a far cry from the sexy Han Solo in Star Wars. It is said that Ford did a lot of his own stunts in the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I doubt he really made that trip in the refrigerator thrown miles by a nuclear blast. I even doubt that he swung on that whip and ended up in the front seat of the deuce-in-half. I suspect that he spent more time in a cast chair with his name on it. At least that's how I would do it if I were the star of this movie.
Despite Indy falling short of Hollywood's expectations over the weekend, lots of people still came out to trash my theater. Opening the movie on Memorial Day weekend may not have been the brightest idea with so many people traveling, but for those of us who couldn't afford the rising gas costs and stayed close to home, coming to a theater must have seemed like a good way to avoid working around the house. The film grossed $126M opening on May 22nd for the extended holiday weekend.
Three people called in last night, making me the only usher. Fortunately for the theater I am the best usher they have. Still, my feet hurt so much by the time I got off last night that I had to walk on the sides of my feet from the car to my house. They hurt this morning. Getting old sucks! Forget about running down steps that are collapsing around you, I had trouble walking down the steps with five soda cups and two tubs of uneaten popcorn in my arms.
According to my odometer, I walked the equivalent of 5 miles at work last night. I remember when I could run 5 miles. I wonder if Harrison needed to put his feet up for a few days after making Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He probably had someone to massage his feet. Maybe I'll suggest the theater hire feet massagers at this Saturday's employee meeting. It will be dismissed like my last suggestion to purchase plastic bags that won't leak all over the carpets. Rumor has it that Ford is reprising his Jack Ryan role, much like Sylvester Stallone came back with another Rocky (which was good) and Rambo (which wasn't) movie. Perhaps they're going through male menopause. If so, I'll join them. I'm thinking of going back into the Army so I can march twenty miles a day.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Stars of Hope
This past week we started our annual Stars of Hope campaign to raise money for four charities, including the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. We're asking movie goers to contribute $1 towards these charities. The corporate goal is a minimum of 1 percent of gross ticket sales, something very attainable. We ask donors to write their names on these stars and then we place them on the walls down both ends of our theater. It would be nice to line both hallways on both sides with red, white, and gold (corporate sponsors) stars. Here are my observations from working the box office over the weekend:
Most people say no when asked if they'd like to contribute a dollar to the Stars for Hope campaign. Probably 95% of the people asked say no. Of those who said yes, most were young and middle aged couples. The ones who said no most often were senior citizens and college students. High school kids said yes more than college students, which is understandable if they were using their parents money to go to the movies and college students might actually have to work their way through college.
Military gets the highest marks. Every person that showed a military ID card to me said yes when asked. Maybe it's something to do with giving back to the nation. I was very proud of my fellow active duty and retired veterans this weekend.:)
People who bought multiple tickets tended to donate where single movie goers tended not to.
A handful of people complained about being asked to donate a dollar when they'd already paid $9 to get into the movie. Some told us to take it out of the cost of the ticket. These are people you'd just as soon God didn't bless anymore until they learn a lesson in humility. It's perfectly fine to say no. You're not forced to give, it's just something the theater is trying to do to help the community. It's another thing to complain about actually doing something that will benefit someone other than yourself. You see, going to a movie is not a necessity. You can go your whole life and never need to see a movie. Going to a theater is about entertainment. It's a treat you give yourself; it's a two hour escape from reality.
Going to movies is a self-serving act. Charity is about serving someone else. You're paying at least $9 on yourself, but you're not willing to spend a dollar to help someone else. That's selfish. Sure, you might give to your church or to the Red Cross or the spotted-owl protection fund. You'll give the government up to half of your income in taxes (grudgingly of course). You'll pay almost $4.o0 for a gallon of gas and drive just as much as you did when it was $2.00 per gallon. It's all choices.
Maybe $1 is too much. Maybe 95% of the people come to the conclusion that they've given enough and what they have left they're going to give to people who can do something for them - like entertain them. And that's fine. I don't expect everyone to donate; I'm just asking that you don't complain because we asked you to give a little more. Just say 'no thanks' if you've given your fair share. If everyone gives their fair share, there won't be hungry children living in trash dumps in Iraq and Africa and China. If everyone gives their fair share than there won't be poverty and inner city kids will have a camp they can go to to escape the concrete jungles we build around them.
I have no strong feelings about any of the charities that Stars of Hope benefit, but I had a couple of dollars in my pocket that weren't needed, so there's a star in the name of my daughter and one in the name of my fiance because these are the people I work two jobs for. I honor them by giving a little bit to help someone else. It's not like I could have bought anything at the theater with the dollar anyway.
Most people say no when asked if they'd like to contribute a dollar to the Stars for Hope campaign. Probably 95% of the people asked say no. Of those who said yes, most were young and middle aged couples. The ones who said no most often were senior citizens and college students. High school kids said yes more than college students, which is understandable if they were using their parents money to go to the movies and college students might actually have to work their way through college.
Military gets the highest marks. Every person that showed a military ID card to me said yes when asked. Maybe it's something to do with giving back to the nation. I was very proud of my fellow active duty and retired veterans this weekend.:)
People who bought multiple tickets tended to donate where single movie goers tended not to.
A handful of people complained about being asked to donate a dollar when they'd already paid $9 to get into the movie. Some told us to take it out of the cost of the ticket. These are people you'd just as soon God didn't bless anymore until they learn a lesson in humility. It's perfectly fine to say no. You're not forced to give, it's just something the theater is trying to do to help the community. It's another thing to complain about actually doing something that will benefit someone other than yourself. You see, going to a movie is not a necessity. You can go your whole life and never need to see a movie. Going to a theater is about entertainment. It's a treat you give yourself; it's a two hour escape from reality.
Going to movies is a self-serving act. Charity is about serving someone else. You're paying at least $9 on yourself, but you're not willing to spend a dollar to help someone else. That's selfish. Sure, you might give to your church or to the Red Cross or the spotted-owl protection fund. You'll give the government up to half of your income in taxes (grudgingly of course). You'll pay almost $4.o0 for a gallon of gas and drive just as much as you did when it was $2.00 per gallon. It's all choices.
Maybe $1 is too much. Maybe 95% of the people come to the conclusion that they've given enough and what they have left they're going to give to people who can do something for them - like entertain them. And that's fine. I don't expect everyone to donate; I'm just asking that you don't complain because we asked you to give a little more. Just say 'no thanks' if you've given your fair share. If everyone gives their fair share, there won't be hungry children living in trash dumps in Iraq and Africa and China. If everyone gives their fair share than there won't be poverty and inner city kids will have a camp they can go to to escape the concrete jungles we build around them.
I have no strong feelings about any of the charities that Stars of Hope benefit, but I had a couple of dollars in my pocket that weren't needed, so there's a star in the name of my daughter and one in the name of my fiance because these are the people I work two jobs for. I honor them by giving a little bit to help someone else. It's not like I could have bought anything at the theater with the dollar anyway.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Speed Racer - 4 Tubs
Save your money, watch the cartoon on TV. The studios blew $100 million on this loser. Hollywood has set the graphics and special effects bar way too high for people to be satisfied with this animae film. Wait for the DVD. Save your $9 bucks and the $20 for candy and popcorn. Enough said.
Red Belt - 0 Tubs
Many years ago, I was very much into the martial arts. I studied Tae Kwon Do while stationed in Asmara, Ethiopia; though I only earned a yellow belt before moving on to more exciting things like hanging out at the club at night. The first night in class the instructor had the new guys punching the concrete walls. If you did it right, it hurt; if you did it wrong, you broke your hand. We did that for a couple of weeks before he started teaching us how to fall when struck. Our sensei struck us often. We learned how to fall for about a month before he decided it was time to start teaching us how to defend ourselves. By this time I was disenchanted with my skinny body and lack of upper body strength. Forget knuckle pushups, I was lucky to do them the normal way. Simultaneously with learning Tae Kwon Do, I started taking fencing classes because they were on alternating nights. After a few weeks my TKD instructor found out that I was doing both martial arts and told me I'd have to choose. Fencing develops the leg muscles differently than what is needed in TKD. Rather than lunging, TKD required flexibility and the ability to do high spinning back kicks. I decided to give up fencing because there wasn't much liklihood I'd be attacked by someone with a sword. The odds were much greater that I'd be attacked by a gang of Ethiopian street thugs on the way home at night, so TKD it was.
I saw the best of the best back then: Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Joe Lewis - the US kick-boxing champ, Ed Parker, Dan Inosanto, Jhoon Rhee, and others. Of course most people have never heard of some of these fighters. The reason I enjoyed Red Belt is because it is the most realistic martial arts film I've ever seen. There are no floating kicks or punching someone through walls or getting back up when you're hit in the head with numchucks. Other than Bruce Lee, who was one of a kind, most martial arts fights I witnessed were more grappling and feinting, where one fighter wasn't able to strike whenever and wherever he wished. Often it is hard to keep up with the struggle and to determine why one opponent receives a point for striking the other opponent.
Red Belt is about a martial arts instructor who refuses to compete. He believes that competition weakens a person. He taught students to become fighters, not competitors. Although some of the scenes fail to connect to the plot of the story, and while it's obvious that this was a low budget film, even with stars like Tim Allen, Max Martini (from The Unit on CBS), Chiwetel Ejiofor - the jiu-jitsu master, and other recognizable character actors; the authenticity of this film is what makes it work. Even the filming of the fight scene at the end of the movie leaves the viewer wondering who is hitting whom. In the end, Ejiofor (Mike Terry) remains a fighter, not a competitor, and receives the highest honor from his mentor - the Professor.
I gave Red Belt zero tubs because no one is coming to see the movie; and that's unfortunate. I was the only person in the auditorium last night. Of course, it was Tuesday night and our week nights are very slow. At least the usher didn't have to clean up behind me. I took my trash, including any popcorn that had fallen onto the floor with me when I left the theater. I am Theater Usher.
I saw the best of the best back then: Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Joe Lewis - the US kick-boxing champ, Ed Parker, Dan Inosanto, Jhoon Rhee, and others. Of course most people have never heard of some of these fighters. The reason I enjoyed Red Belt is because it is the most realistic martial arts film I've ever seen. There are no floating kicks or punching someone through walls or getting back up when you're hit in the head with numchucks. Other than Bruce Lee, who was one of a kind, most martial arts fights I witnessed were more grappling and feinting, where one fighter wasn't able to strike whenever and wherever he wished. Often it is hard to keep up with the struggle and to determine why one opponent receives a point for striking the other opponent.
Red Belt is about a martial arts instructor who refuses to compete. He believes that competition weakens a person. He taught students to become fighters, not competitors. Although some of the scenes fail to connect to the plot of the story, and while it's obvious that this was a low budget film, even with stars like Tim Allen, Max Martini (from The Unit on CBS), Chiwetel Ejiofor - the jiu-jitsu master, and other recognizable character actors; the authenticity of this film is what makes it work. Even the filming of the fight scene at the end of the movie leaves the viewer wondering who is hitting whom. In the end, Ejiofor (Mike Terry) remains a fighter, not a competitor, and receives the highest honor from his mentor - the Professor.
I gave Red Belt zero tubs because no one is coming to see the movie; and that's unfortunate. I was the only person in the auditorium last night. Of course, it was Tuesday night and our week nights are very slow. At least the usher didn't have to clean up behind me. I took my trash, including any popcorn that had fallen onto the floor with me when I left the theater. I am Theater Usher.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Made of Honor - 4 Tubs
I know I'm going to get hate-mail, but IMHO the reason that Made of Honor deserves its 4-tub rating is because most of the women coming to see Patrick Dempsey are porkers. The same thing happened with that Natalie Portman period piece about Henry Vth or the 8th or whatever it was. Although Dempsey portrayed a 'player' in the movie, he wouldn't give these fans a second glance.
Enough about the trash: Made of Honor is a decent movie. What makes it good is that Dempsey's character, when faced with losing someone he's taken for granted, realizes that she's the best thing in his life. Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), who's used to Tom's one-night flings finally finds herself in love and gets engaged to Irish royalty. In the process of Tom trying to sabotage the wedding, Hannah realizes that Tom is more than her best friend and MOH, but also in love with him.
It's a fun movie to watch, a bitch to clean up. Could be worse: the guys over in Iron Man would like Made of Honor too if they saw it.
Enough about the trash: Made of Honor is a decent movie. What makes it good is that Dempsey's character, when faced with losing someone he's taken for granted, realizes that she's the best thing in his life. Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), who's used to Tom's one-night flings finally finds herself in love and gets engaged to Irish royalty. In the process of Tom trying to sabotage the wedding, Hannah realizes that Tom is more than her best friend and MOH, but also in love with him.
It's a fun movie to watch, a bitch to clean up. Could be worse: the guys over in Iron Man would like Made of Honor too if they saw it.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Iron Man - 4 Tubs
What can I say? You'd think that a movie that has attracted mostly adults, albeit - males, would not look as though the auditorium had just gone through several kid's birthday pinata parties all at the same time. It's embarrassing to be a man!
What's more embarrassing is the number of men who're still reading comic books and know who Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. are; and not only that, but to get as excited over the sequel as they are over their Winston Cup driver winning the Daytona 500. Being a careful observer of movie-goers, Iron Man attracts geeks, freaks, dykes, and red-necks. If you're one of those, you'll enjoy the movie. If you read above an 8th grade level you'll get more from Harold & Kumar - Escape from Guantanemo (not really - it's a stupid movie; but you get my point).
My biggest peeve about Iron Man is the 30 second clip at the very end of the movie. As my pastor pointed out, Hollywood doesn't have a clue as to what theaters need. Putting this clip after 8 minutes of credits is not only a disservice to the Iron Man fans, but it means that the ushers can't start cleaning the theater until these adult children have vacated the auditorium. Opening weekend saw lines forming outside the three auditoriums before the credits started. Fans that arrive early for a good seat have to wait an additional 15-20 minutes while we clean up after the pigs who came to the earlier showing. The wait, had Hollywood cared, would have been much less if they had inserted the Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) clip at the end of the movie rather than at the end of the credits. Here's where I save you fans 12 minutes of wasted time: Tony Stark arrives home to find an intruder (Nick Fury) standing at his window. Fury says, "I am Iron Man!"...do you think that you're the only super hero out there?" Who the hell are you, Stark asks. Fury steps into the light so you can see Samuel L Jackson with eye patch and says, "Nick Fury. I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative.", thus setting up the sequel.
Iron Man is a pretty good action movie to kick off the summer blockbuster season. It scored big at the box office with over $100M opening weekend. Coming next are: Narnia - Prince Caspian, Speed Racer, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Hancock, and not least - Batman - The Dark Knight starring Heath Ledger and setting up for Batman vs Superman. Just think of the landfills we're going to fill this summer!
What's more embarrassing is the number of men who're still reading comic books and know who Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. are; and not only that, but to get as excited over the sequel as they are over their Winston Cup driver winning the Daytona 500. Being a careful observer of movie-goers, Iron Man attracts geeks, freaks, dykes, and red-necks. If you're one of those, you'll enjoy the movie. If you read above an 8th grade level you'll get more from Harold & Kumar - Escape from Guantanemo (not really - it's a stupid movie; but you get my point).
My biggest peeve about Iron Man is the 30 second clip at the very end of the movie. As my pastor pointed out, Hollywood doesn't have a clue as to what theaters need. Putting this clip after 8 minutes of credits is not only a disservice to the Iron Man fans, but it means that the ushers can't start cleaning the theater until these adult children have vacated the auditorium. Opening weekend saw lines forming outside the three auditoriums before the credits started. Fans that arrive early for a good seat have to wait an additional 15-20 minutes while we clean up after the pigs who came to the earlier showing. The wait, had Hollywood cared, would have been much less if they had inserted the Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) clip at the end of the movie rather than at the end of the credits. Here's where I save you fans 12 minutes of wasted time: Tony Stark arrives home to find an intruder (Nick Fury) standing at his window. Fury says, "I am Iron Man!"...do you think that you're the only super hero out there?" Who the hell are you, Stark asks. Fury steps into the light so you can see Samuel L Jackson with eye patch and says, "Nick Fury. I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative.", thus setting up the sequel.
Iron Man is a pretty good action movie to kick off the summer blockbuster season. It scored big at the box office with over $100M opening weekend. Coming next are: Narnia - Prince Caspian, Speed Racer, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Hancock, and not least - Batman - The Dark Knight starring Heath Ledger and setting up for Batman vs Superman. Just think of the landfills we're going to fill this summer!
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