These two movies are what I term, 'loser movies'. They're in the same gendre as Harold & Kumar, Don't Mess With the Zohan, Semi-Pro, Blades of Glory, and the upcoming Tropic Thunder. The people who are attracted to loser movies are teenagers, college students, and pedophiles. Loser movies glorify animalistic sex, suggest that marijuana will solve most, if not all, of America's problems, and pretend that depravity and vulgarity are actually funny. Obviously public school and college students think so because they don't mind plunking down the bucks to see this crap.
Saturday night at the theater, our GM walked past me shaking his head. "This is the first time that I've actually feared for our country's future." he said. I asked him what he was talking about, assuming he was talking about the gnat's breadth of difference between Obama and McCain. As it turns out, the GM was talking about the lengths our youths will go through to break the law and disobey authority in order to see movies like those mentioned above.
Earlier in the evening some teens tried to buy tickets to Step Brothers. The cashier asked for IDs and then refused to sell them tickets because they were under age. The teens came back a few minutes later and bought tickets for Hancock. The cashier was suspicious so she flagged the tickets so that the ushers could watch and make sure the kids went to the right theater. They did at first, but two minutes later walked out and entered Step Brothers. Obviously they were excited about seeing Will Ferrell rub his testicles on a drum. They were observed going in so the manager, accompanied by a police officer entered and brought them out. The manager gave them a refund and told them not to try buying R-rated tickets at our theater again. Fifteen minutes later, the same group of morons walk into the lobby and purchase tickets from the kiosk inside. They got no further than the ticket podium where the usher called the manager. The kids protested that they had legally purchased the tickets so we had to let them in. The manager gave them another refund and forbid them from coming to our theater again.
Around 11 PM, my feet were hurting so when I went into auditorium 14 to clean up behind the pigs in Pineapple Express I wanted to finish out my last hour and go home and get off my feet. Of course there were half a dozen people who insisted on staying through all the credits. With six more theaters to clean as well as the syrup room and break room, I turned on the cleaning lights so I could start cleaning. Shouts of protest erupted. "Hey man! We're watching the movie here!" greeted me as I rounded the corner and started sweeping.
"There's nothing at the end." I informed them.
"So maybe we like watching the credits. We paid big bucks to see this movie."
"Buy the DVD when it comes out and read it then. Here, the credits mean only one thing - to give you time to get out so I can clean this dump."
"I want a refund."
"I can't believe you paid to see this junk." I returned.
"Maybe we wanted to be entertained old man!" another punk spouts off.
"This isn't funny." I said. "The Three Stooges, Red Skelton, Abbott and Costello - they're funny. This is for idiots and retards." I threw the last in to piss them off.
"We could have you fired!" one sissy shouted.
"Do you think I give a damn about a job that pays $6.50 an hour? Go ahead. I've already turned in my resignation letter anyway."
The future leaders of the free world got up and stalked angrily towards the door. "This is f....'d up dude!"
The manager never came to yell at me so I guess the guys left to cry in their car. I wasn't too worried about what the managers would say. It's hard finding people to work these jobs; besides our managers are wimps.
Oh yeah, the theater was the mess I expected. Not only are our kids being dumbed down, they're not being taught responsibility at home either. We should all be very afraid.
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