Hancock - 5 Tubs

OK, same old story: large tubs of popcorn and large cups of soda are barely touched and end up left in and under the seats. There's a growing trend at our theater. Patrons are putting so much butter on their popcorn that it leaks through the bags and the tub onto their pants/dresses. What happens next is that they will place said soggy paper products on the floor where the buttery topping (not real butter) soaks into the concrete making the aisle a dangerous place to walk. Again, parents are trying to drown their kids in buttery topping. The new seasoned salt containers aren't selling that well, and that's OK with us - less to sweep up. Hancock is one of the summer blockbusters, so it's going to be filthy. Be patient, when we're done cleaning it you'll see us exit with a 400 gallon trash container filled from the previous patrons.

Hancock is a great movie in that it addresses what most of us would like to see in a super hero: someone who doesn't give a shit about how other people think of him. I particularly enjoyed the scene where the boy called Hancock an asshole and got knocked so high he didn't come down for two minutes. Don't you know that a real super hero gets tired of people who can't do what he does telling him how to do it? I mean, do you take health advice from an auto mechanic? I'd like to have seen Hancock toss Congress into outer space, along with Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, George Soros and other evil entities that plague our world. And if I were a super hero, I'd not be sleeping on a park bench. I'd sleep anywhere I wanted, eat when and what I wanted, choose who I helped and who I screwed around with, and just have a great old time. I missed my calling in life:

Go see the movie, have fun, and please take your trash with you.